Page 35 - Branch Leader Guide

Charcot-Marie-Tooth
Association

are discussing. The willingness to admit and look at your mistakes does wonders for
bolstering the group's trust in you.

Dealing with Anger
In general, the leader must act as a custodian of the group objectives. As a leader, you
are faced with some difficult decisions when your group arrives at a place where anger is
being directed from one member to another. Generally, the best course is to use the
opportunity to remind members of the central importance of cohesion and support. If
issues of anger arise, show the group how to deal with them.

This is generally called the constructive expression of anger, which involves talking
about anger rather than being openly angry with someone. It’s a way of identifying
anger in order to resolve it and get free of it. Remember that anger is just the surface
emotion. Fear and pain usually lie underneath anger. It’s generally a richer emotional
experience to get in touch with those two deep-seated feelings.

Dealing with Silences
Silences are not threatening if they are seen as an alternative way of being together. It
can be relaxing to experience silences in a group where trust and tolerance have
developed. The members may be just taking time to look at themselves, while drawing
on the companionship of the group. However, it is also the role of the leader to judge
whether the silences are "good silences” or whether they are motivated by tension,
resentment, confusion or some other problem. The group might finish one person's
material and might not know what to do next. Sometimes angry outbursts may cause
tension. If the members seem stuck, tense or unsure, then from the point of view of
preserving safety, it is best for the facilitator to help out by saying something like,
"Everybody seems very absorbed in thought. Let’s try to make an effort to surface these
thoughts and share them with the group” or "I just want to check in with you about what
is going on. We've been silent for several minutes.”

Before you intervene, check your own motive. Is the silence making you tense, and is it
your need to end it? If so, what is bothering you about the silence? Are you being
overprotective? Perhaps, in trying to make the group a success, it’s hard for you to give
the group space to have quiet periods. Don't rush to take over a silence. Silences are
normal and reflective of productive group behavior, especially if they lead to useful
exchanges. Your aim is to help the group use and tolerate silences. Intervene only
when you think silence is putting a member’s essential sense of safety at risk or when
you feel that the silence is, for negative reasons, going nowhere and could be turned into
a useful opportunity for teaching the group more effective behavior.

32