Page 27 - 2021 Winter CMTA Report

? WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND? Ask David.
Dear David:
I wanted to relate an incident
that rattled me at first but
ultimately had a happy end-
ing. I am a middle school
teacher in a small Midwest-
ern public school. I love
being a teacher despite some
classroom difficulty with bal-
ance because of my CMT. I
also have some weakness in
my hands so I am always
dropping materials, much to
my kids’ delight.
The other day I was in
front of the classroom trying
to teach a history lesson
when one of my more ram-
bunctious students blurted
out, “What happened to your
leg?” I always figured I
would get this question some-
day, but it caught me off
guard. I turned beet red and
sheepishly tried to explain
CMT to my class, but it’s
hard enough trying to
explain my CMT to friends,
let alone seventh graders. I
have some feelings of shame
and embarrassment but I
hide them pretty well and try
very hard not to let them pre- appreciate. When someone asks
vent me from participating in
and enjoying my life.
Fortunately, I had a break
after the class and a colleague our feelings about our CMT that with the past or the future, and
suggested that I take the
opportunity to go back and
lead a discussion on people
that we know who have
physical challenges. I was
extremely nervous, but I did
just that and the students
were more than willing to give to receive this support from oth- identity has nothing to do
examples of people they knew
who had physical problems.
Many examples were from
their own families: One boy
spoke of his grandfather who
is in a wheelchair from a Viet- David Tannenbaum answers questions
nam War injury and spent lots
from readers in his column “What’s On
of time teaching him about Your Mind? Ask David” regularly in
cars. Another spoke about her The CMTA Report. David has an LCSW
brother who had cerebral degree and has been a psychotherapist
in New York City for the past 30 years,
palsy. After a while, I honestly
specializing in helping others with the
didn’t know if our discussion
task of growing emotionally and spiritu-
was for them or me.
ally through physical challenges. “My
Even though I had a way CMT has been my greatest challenge and
to go in accepting my own my best teacher in life,” says David.
CMT, I saw that I could
transform my self-conscious-
to great lengths to hide. Our vul-
ness into helping others learn
nerability is human and can be
to accept their differences.
transformed into power if we use
The best part of the day came
it to connect to others. Everyone
when the boy who had asked
feels vulnerable in some area of
me about my CMT saw me
their lives, and many of us strug-
struggling to carry materials
gle with our imperfections. Be
out to my car and asked me if
courageous in telling your story
I wanted some help. Driving
and you will find that many
home I choked up with tears,
will respect your fearlessness.
thinking that maybe I taught
Remember that anxiety is who
them a lesson about empa-
you think you should be and
thy, the most important
peace is who you are.
lesson of all. Just wondering
Telling your story gives
how you think I handled the
others permission to tell their
situation. —Ms. B.
stories and believe me, after 40
years of practice as a therapist,
David replies:
I can tell you that everyone has
Dear Ms. B., Thanks so much one! When we freeze up in our
for sharing a story that I know self-consciousness, it is simply a
many in our community can reminder that we have a bit
more work to do in releasing
“the question,” most of us are some old pain around our physi-
often caught off guard. I think cal challenges. Identifying these
that we are all so private with thoughts, which often have to do
we are shocked when that then coming back to the present
boundary is crossed. We are moment will help whenever you
unaccustomed to sharing our can remember to do so. Take this
thoughts and feelings in public. opportunity to identify and then
This is another good reason to gradually be free from your fear
attend support groups and CMT thoughts. Take pride in your
conferences whenever possible being and know that your true
ers who understand what we with your physical body. Self-
experience daily. acceptance makes your light
Your student probably trig- shine brighter and provides a
gered the feelings of inadequacy powerful example for all to fol-
and vulnerability that we often go low. You are a true teacher. k
WINTER 2021 THE CMTA REPORT 27